Where Art Thou?

[Zolf J Kimblee]

Zolf led the way, agitation evident in his stride. He stopped at several doors, resting his ear against the nearly soundproof metal. He wasn't sure which one it was, but he was sure that the sound of animals would point the way easily enough.

His efforts were rewarded by the screech of a...something. He pounded his fist on the door hard and insistently, provoking and uproar from the beasts inside. He glanced at Havoc with a devilish grin. He laid his forehead against the door and called out, "Hey Frank! Lemme in! Come on, soldier! Move like you got a purpose!" There was no sound but that of the restless, caged animals inside. He banged some more. After a minute, he gave up and turned the knob. The door was open, so he went in, motioning Havoc to follow him. He pulled his foot away quickly as a a clawed beast swiped at his foot. It left a jagged scar on his unpolished boot. No biggie. The place stank fairly bad and he wondered how a man like Archer could stand being there for longer than, say, five seconds before marching his pristine, well-heeled presence out of there.

He was about to say something to that effect to Havoc when an envelope caught his attention. It was laying at the foot of a desk chair, as if he'd been in a real hurry. The letter inside peeked out of the open flap, calling out to the curious or simply nosy. Zolf was both and didn't think twice about reading it. "Well hello there...what's this?" he asked to himself as he bent to pick it up. He turned the envelope over and his own name was on it. "Well... that takes some of the air out of my balloon." he added with some disappointment. "Nothing to take the fun out of snooping like finding something addressed to you, right?" he said, looking at Havoc.

[waiting for someone to OK my application to temp Archer]

[aspiredeathe]

Jean followed the lanky man down the damp corridor, raising an eyebrow as the man stopped every now and for once in his life, as far a the 2nd Lieutenant was concerned, to listen for someone other than himself.

An eery call went up, like an animal gargling in what could only be pain, or misplaced pleasure.
This seemed to be what Kimblee was looking for as he began banging at the door, casting him a grin fit for the devil.
He wanted to ask, not really sure he wanted to know the answer, when the man started yelling. The only response was the obvious agitation of the creatures behind the door.
He leaned against the wall, seeing this was not particularly heading anywhere and watched with curiosity as his companion tried the door. That is was open came as a slight surprise, he'd expected Archer to prefer noone to know of the sick things he done down here.

His keenness to ignore to sign Kimblee gave him, to follow, became a proven fact when a low rumble was heard, shortly followed by a scraping noise. What ever the hell it was, it had big freaking claws and was probably rather hungry for it to be going after even the Crimson Alchemist.
With caution, Jean followed, rather unwillingly, yet to stay behind would only prove that Kimblee had more balls than him. Not that it mattered, but he feared he'd never live to hear the end of it. Especially if he was going to be stuck in Lior with him.
His eyes quickly darted through the ill-lit room, steering himself clear of all cages, when it fell upon what had seemed to gather the interest of Kimblee.
"Well open it then. The sooner we get out of here.." He knew he didn't need to finish, knowing the other man felt just as uncomfortable here as he did.

[Zolf J Kimblee]

Zolf eyed Havoc and for the first time, noticed that contrary to what he'd heard about Havoc being somewhat talkative, he hadn't said two words since they'd come together on this assignment. "What's the matter? Got the heebie jeebies?" he asked with a chuckle. "Don't worry, I ain't gonna blow you up if you say more than 'boo' to me. Christ... you blow up some Ishballans and a few insubordinate men and no one will say 'boo', 'piss off', or 'fare thee well.' " He shook his head and opened the letter to read it's contents.

He scanned the contents of the letter briefly, reading some parts out loud, "Lt. Col. Zolf J. Kimblee...Lt. Colonel?! Well now! Here's an interesting turn of events......blah, blah, blah....have to leave for Lior sooner than expected......now promoted to Colonel for this mission...blah, blah...more blah and more blah...some blarbity inserted here....ah! Here's the important part: Meet me at the Foundry Inn. civilian dress, no uniform....blah...blah...blarbity...wear gloves to hide transmutation circles..." He pulled a separate piece of paper from behind the letter and a slow, lazy grin crept onto his face. "Well well...seems I've been promoted to Lt. Colonel for this mission. How about that?" he winks at Havoc.

[feel free to offer more suggestions in PM if you have them. Like maybe what they should go undercover as? Maybe something we could have some comic relief with. XD]

[aspiredeathe]

Jean scoffed slightly, he also frowned at the way he casually talked about his victims. Did this man have no heart?
"I'm not worried about your ambition to blow everything up. I just don't like this place, alright?" He tuned his eyes away from the man as he began reading, wondering if it was okay to smoke down here.
After all, there were animals, even if they were slightly mutated and rather unsightly.
"What?!" He snapped his head back at hearing Kimblee's new title "How come you're the one to get promoted?" He already new the answer though, Zolf Kimblee was well known as being a supporter of Archer's ideology.

He gave himself a moment to sulk before regaining his composure.
"Does it say anything about why we're going there? And anyway, isn't it a bit odd to find such a letter here?" Okay, so maybe he wasn't quite done with sulking, but it could be worse.
Oh wait, he was going on a mission with the new Lt. Colonel, to meet Archer in a country filled with people that hated the military and even more so Alchemists, like his new companion.
He didn't remember ever having a death wish.

"Is there anything else in here we might need?" He glanced quickly at a cage filled with a furry clawed beast and found himself pondering who feed these things when Archer wasn't here. The moment he began to think of what they ate was quickly ended by him blurting out whatever question came to mind.
"So what will we go as?"

[amouri]

The mouse skittered across the wide expanse of filthy stone floor,
pausing every now and then to hide in the shadow of some bone fragment, or a lump of rock.
It stopped behind a human skull, and sniffed the air cautiously, its whiskers twitching slightly.
It then bounded off towards a massive hulking shadow near the wall, where it would slip inside its hiding place, a small crack that was nearly invisible in the darkness of the shadow.
The mouse gave a frightened squeak and stopped dead as the shadow suddenly shifted, looming over the tiny creature.
Barry gazed down at the frightened rodent, wondering wether he should kill it or not.
He had nothing against killing animals, nothing at all.
After all, he had been a butcher before he was set to guard this lonesome place.
It was just...Animals were not very fun to kill.
That was also mainly the reason he had become bored of being a butcher and moved on to being a serial killer.
Also, how strange it may sound, Barry was not a big fan of killing animals without a reason.
Sure, if you needed the meat or the hide fine enough.
He always made sure that nothing was wasted when he was a butcher.
But still, it had been months since the last intruder...
But before he could make up his mind the mouse had given another petrified squeak and scuttled into its hole.
Barry watched it go and chuckled sadly "You know you getting desperate when you consider killing a mouse."
He chuckled again.
"And when you begin talking to yourself again."
"...again, again, again..."
The exasperated tone rang back in echoes.
"Well, you can't blame me, there's nothing to do in this damned place!"
"...place, place, place..."
"Well, geuss what! I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE I'M BARRY THE CHOPPER WHO USED TO BE A MASS MURDERER BUT NOW NOBODY REMEMBERS ME 'CAUSE THEY THINK I'M DEAD AND THEY'RE ALL SO DAMN HAPPY SLEEPING SNUGLY IN THEIR LITTLE HOMES NOT KNOWING THAT I'M AS ALIVE AS EVER! SO I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE BORING MY BUTT OFF WHITH NOBODY TO CHOP SO I'M GONNA SING A LITTLE SONG TO OCCUPY MYSELF LALALALALALALALALALAAAAAADUMDIDUMLALALAAAA,
MAN, AM I HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE, AND I DON'T CARE WHAT THE PEOPLE THINK OUTSIDE OF ME YELLING TO MYSELF 'CAUSE THEY CAN'T HEAR ME ANYWAY!
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha-heehee...urgh."
He slumped on the floor again, seeing as he had stood up in his fury brandishing his knife.
"Geez am i pathetic." He muttered to himself as he absentmindly picked at a bloodstain on his boot.

[Zolf J Kimblee]

[Sorry I haven't replied in so long. I've been in the hospital. I will post in the next day or so.]

[Zolf J Kimblee]

Zolf thought about Havocs question for a moment and sighed. "Damn...I have no clue. I'm an alchemist, not a casting director. And the answers are no and yes. I don't think the reasons for the mission would be so casually written down on a piece of paper that's been left unattended. And yes, it is a weird place to find it, but we're talking about Frank here." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully a moment and was about to add more to his reply when he heard a noise. He turned around to look, but saw nothing.

"Hmmmm...did you hear a noise, Havoc? I could have sworn I heard the sound of laughter down the dark section of that hallway."

[aspiredeathe]

With a slight grimace, Jean gave a slight nod.
He really ain't no casting director, but he could atleast come up with an idea!/ So the blonde was still iffed about the promotion thing.
"I dunno, we gotta think of something here, we can't just waltz ri-"Turning his head to the door, he strained his ears "I think I heard it too."
His eyes narrowed, his hand automatically reaching for his gun holster.

"Let's go check it out.After all, if we can't handle some intruder, how're we gonna rescue Archer?" He flashed his companion a grin before sliding out into the hallway. He really didn't want to go, having spent more than enough time in that room with those weird beasts. Who knew what was lurking around in this place?
But his duty wouldn't allow him to back down. Someone was trespassing and as an officer on duty, he would act.
Although, he wouldn't mind if Kimblee went up front, being the higher ranked of them both. Even if it was temporary.

[Zolf J Kimblee]

Zolf stepped out into the corridor after Havoc. He had no need for a gun, but he drew his as well. No need setting off explosions and drawing attention to themselves. He folded the note in two when he noticed more writing on the back.

"Hold it a second," he said, putting his arm out to stop Havoc. His eyes scanned the page and a smile grew on his face. He started laughing and bent over, hands on knees as his shoulders shook from his snickering. "Get this! We've been granted 'safe passage' as two female silk traders! Female silk traders! Damn Frank.... and here I thought the guy had no sense of humor." He reached behind his head and pulled out the hair tie and let his hair fall down his shoulders and back. He tossed his hair in an exaggerated fashion.

"Well, I'm purdy enough to pull it off" he snorted, "You absolutely must do something with your hair though." He burst out laughing again, "C'mon...let's go see what's up down the hall. He was still chuckling and making jokes about the assignment. "My, my...should I wear the burgundy crinoline dress or the black taffeta? Whatever will I do?"

[amouri]

Barry got up with a ringing sigh, or at least the closest thing possible to a sigh, seeing as he didn't have any lungs to sigh with, and started down the dark passageway.
"Well, might as well get some exercise..."
He stopped dead and slapped himself in the face.
"Heck, know i'm beginning to forget that i don' need exercise."
The force of his blow had nearly knocked his head off, so he repositioned it with a low muttering.
"...talking to meself again, makes me wonder if i've gone crazy."
He started down the hall again, but then stopped and laughed bitterly.
"Hang on, i forgot, i am already crazy. At least thats what everyone else says.
Geez, me just killing a few people and immediately they fall on you like a tonne of bricks. I mean whats the big deal anyway? A few people more or less... its not like we're an endangered species..."
He trailed off and shook his head at his own sillyness and kicked up a small stone wich sailed to the other end of the passageway.

[Zolf J Kimblee]

The sound of their boots clicking (and Zolfs endless blathering) on the tiled floor almost drowned out the sound of something skittering across the floor. He stopped in his tracks and thumbed back the hammer on his gun.

"Alright!" he said in a raised voice, "who the hell is playing games here?" He was answered by a pair of glowing...eyes?...in the darkness.

He turned to Havoc and murmured quietly, "Either that's a really huge chimera on the loose or one hell of a huge levitating rat. But I really don't think it's number two."

[amouri]

((I've been wondering if i should include facial expressions with Barry, because for some reason both in the anime and the manga he seems to be quite capable of moving his eyebrows (If thats what you can call them) around quite a lot. Even when he isn't "Chibified".
Sometimes i wonder if his skull is made out of rubber or something.
What do you guys think?))

Barry stopped dead as somebody called out.
He cursed himself for being so preoccupied that he hadn't noticed the sound of approaching footsteps.
But then his anger turned into excitement.
Victims.
He considered what he should do.
Should he run out of the darkness, screaming like a maniac and swinging his chopper?
That was always a good one, and he loved seeing the look of dumb surprise and disbelief on his victims faces as they fell to the floor in several pieces.
But of course, there was some risk in that too.
Once he had been so unlucky to try that tactic on an armed guard, whom which had strayed too far into the lab.
Of course, Barry had dealt with him in no time, but in that short time the guard had managed to shoot quite a number of holes in the more weak places in his armour. And one of the bullets had passed dangerously near to his bloodseal.
Or should he wait, until his victims got closer?
His appearance was normally so intimidating that they normally froze in fear.
Or, he could as quitely as possible sit down, and pretend he was nothing but an empty suit of armour.
Wich of course he was, but a living suit of armour nonetheless.
Or he could try and engage in conversation, toying with his prey and its mind, before finishing it off.
So many possibilities, and so few victims.
He felt the blood lust rize in him, and gave a damn to all reason.
Why not just use the first solution? After all, it was the easiest.
He charged out of the darkness, swinging his knife and yelling madly, as his eyes glowed red.

[Zolf J Kimblee]

[amouri]

((Okie dokie ))

[aspiredeathe]

[OoC: My bad guys xD I kept forgetting we were in Lab 5 xD]

Jean glared into the endless darkness, his finger on the trigger, should something jump out on them while Kimblee was busy with whatever it was that had made them stop. The moment the elusive laughter reached his ears and registered in his mind did an ominous shiver run down his spine.
Sending a glare to his companion, about to ask what the hell was so funny, he ended up choking on his spit.
"Wha?!" With wide eyes, trying to comprehend this new information without giving himself to much of a migraine, he could only watch as the alchemist, obviously quite into the idea of dressing up as a woman, untied his hair and flicked it. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't began about jean's hair, who'd out of reflex raised a hand to his bi-coloured locks, frowning as he realized what he was doing.
"Whatever. I am not wearing a dress." He huffed rather upset by this whole ordeal. It just came to prove, nothing good came from Lab 5. Unless you were Zolf Kimblee or that utterly insane Frank Archer. He wondered if they got some kind of kick out of this whole cross-dressing ordeal, as he carried on down the corridor.

When Kimblee began about a dress, he suddenly found himself wishing that whatever the hell was down here would hurry up and come out from whatever hole it was hiding in. Anything had to be better than listening to this. Oh god, he was starting to imagine himself in a dark green shirtwaist.
Which was absolutely terrible, as green really didn't go well with his eyes.
Somewhere in his mind, he was rather grateful for the sudden interruption in the form of two red glowing eyes.

It was almost on instinct that he raised his gun, squeezing the trigger with just enough force as the metallic suit jumped from the shadows, screaming for all it was worth. The first two bullets hit the body, going straight through and holing up in the wall behind the attacker. He then quickly changed his sights to the weapon, firing off the round as he shot at the hand and knife.
It was more than disturbing that his bullets were not hitting anything solid save the metal still charging at them.
It was almost as if it was some kind of doll made of armour. A very blood lusting one at that.
Save the latter, it kind of reminded him of..
Somewhere in the depths that was Jean Havoc's mind, it seemed like a good idea to raise his other hand and point at the attacker with a rather blank face just to say "Hey, are you..?"

[Zolf J Kimblee]

While Havoc was firing his gun, Zolf stooped to the ground and activated his arrays. A sizzle of lightning shot off toward the maniacal suit of armor and made a pathetic explosion at his feet. Nothing but a tiny pile of rubble. "Damn...not enough sulphur." he said under his breath. "Hey!" he shouted at the thing that came out of the shadows, "You better stop right there if you know what's good for you."

He strolled casually toward the metal thing, and the closer he got, it became apparent that it was an empty, yet animated suit of armor with some sort of skull for a mask. And it was carrying a really huge butcher knife, dangling from one hand. He wondered if this were one of Franks projects run amok.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in this part of Headquarters?" he challenged the strange person. "And while you're at it, why not enlighten us as to why you're carrying such a large and sharp object. Something tells me you're not cutting up chicken and steaks for a picnic."

He glanced over to Havoc, "We'll discuss fashion later. AND!...as your superior officer," he added with a lazy grin, "you WILL wear a dress...as ordered by our esteemed Colonel Archer." ^__^

[amouri]

Barry realized his mistake as the first bullets went through his metal body.
DAMN!
"RRRGH NOT AGAIN!! WHY DO YOU DUMB PEOPLE ALWAYS CARRY GUNS!!? DO YOU REALIZE THE TROUBLE IT CAUSES FOR AN HONEST GUY LIKE ME?!"

He winced slightly as another bullet hit his knife, glancing off but making him lose his grip on it.
He fumbled desperately, but since he only had three fingers he failed miserably and his knife fell with a clatter to the grimy floor.

He quickly reached down for it, but gave a yelp in surprise as the floor beneath his feet seemed to explode. He twitched instinctively as a small shower of rubble hit the front of his armour.

He glared silently at the two men which he seconds before had underestimated.
He froze in surprise as the darker haired individual approached him, not showing any visible sign of fear.
As he asked Barry in a selfconfident manner what the hell he was doing here, Barry considered how he could turn the situation to his behalf.

The man still had his gun, though unlike his companion he hadn't yet used it.
Considering his immense strength, it should be possible for Barry to kill the person unarmed. But in the struggle that would follow
there was the risk that Barry's bloodseal could be destroyed.
And having died once, Barry was not too happy at the prospect of him dying again.

And there was still the mysterious explosion to think about.
Barry was not the most intelligent murderer, seeing as technically he didn't have a brain, but he knew enough about alchemy to regocnise it when he saw it. What other explanation was there?
He glanced at the gun in front of him, and his suspicions were confirmed as he glimpsed the outline of somekind of pentagram on the persons palms.

"I should be asking you guys the same question. I guard this place, and if you don't mind i would like to get on with my work."
He sneered.
He glanced down at his knife lying at his feet.
It was maybe possible for him to reach for it, but then his back would be exposed.
He had lost his other knife weeks ago, and had in fact being in the process of looking for it when he had bumped into these two.

He glanced up at the guy with the long dark hair and noticed that he looked oddly familiar.
How come he kept cropping up in his head alongside something to do with alchemy and himself being in prison?
He squinted at him and asked "Hey, haven't i seen you somewhere?"

He looked up at his companions question and noticed to his immense irritation that he didn't seem the slightest afraid either.
"Am i what? Hideous? Crazy? Strange? Bloodthirsty? If so, how come you guys have got the guts to even speak to me?"
He raised an eyebrow on his surprisingly flexible face.

[Zolf J Kimblee]

"I give up...have you seen me somewhere?" Kimblee responded sarcastically. "Look, I'm not here to pay a social visit. I'm here to do my business and then leave this creepy place. I used to be an inmate here for ten years, so I'm sure you can understand that."

"...And don't even think about picking up that butcher knife," he said, raising his palms, "these are deadly weapons of mass destruction. Maybe there's not enough of the right chemicals in the tiles, but you're armor...might prove to be another story yet. Care to try me?" he added with a feral grin. "Go on, I've been itching for an excuse to blow something up."

[amouri]

Barry's eyes widened in surprise
"Hang on! I do know you! You were in central prison too!
What was your name...Kirby something...Kimby...Kimperly-Kimblee!"
He would have snapped his fingers as he remembered the name.
But he didn't have the right amount of fingers, so, he didn't.
"Your that state alchemist-whatsit. Crimson something...You were that guy that blew up all those ishbalans!
I was only five cells away from you!"

He glanced nervously down at his knife.
Had he known who he was dealing with he probably wouldn't have been so reckless.
Barry knew he had probably no chance whatsoever of getting out of that mess alive. At least not if this Kimblee person saw him as a potential threat.
So he decided to act innocent.

"Hey-take it easy! No need to get violent! You woulden't blow up a fellow prisoner like me wouldya? I'm Barry the Chopper! You know- the crazy butcher? 23 victims? Come on-you must remember me?"
He flicked desperately through his mind, searching for something that would maybe distract the alchemist before he got his hands on Barrys armour.
"S-so you like blowing stuff up-right? Heh, well thats exactly how i feel about chopping! I-like you- have been waiting for an excuse to kill something for days!"
He quickly realized his mistake.

"Oh-no wait! That wasn't what i meant to say! Erm...I-I don't enjoy this job- they're forcing me to do it y'see! I wan't to get out of here just as much as you do..."
His voice trailed away.

Great.
Always have to make things more complicated.
Now there's no way he's gonna let you go...
Damn. Now i'm talking to myself again.
There was a small chance that he could maybe be able to run, but he would just have to see what happened next before he began taking more risks.


(( Am i making Barry too fearful?
I just imagine that its only his bloodlust in battle that keeps him from being careful.
And of course, at the moment he hasn't got his knife, and i would be crapping myself if i accidently attacked an alchemist bomber and suddenly found myself unarmed. ))

[Zolf J Kimblee]

[ XD No, you're not making him too fearful. Just clever. Remember when he noticed that between Alphonse and Scar, he decided that it was "better to fight and run away and live to fight another day?" I think you're handling him just great. Only Kimblee is stupid enough to think of himself as indestructible. Must be that cocky ego of his. ]

Zolf's jaw went slack in disbelief as his memory was jogged. "You? You're Barry the Butcher? We all thought you rode the lightning to the great Butcher Shop in the Sky!" he said with a genuine smile. "Yeah, I remember you. I remember I used to yell at you to shut the hell up in the middle of the night! By the way...love your work!" he added, referring to his butchery. "Too bad you're sealed to that armor. We could use a cross-dressing psychopath as a fashion consultant on our mission, right Havoc?" he looked over at his compatriot and winked playfully.

He scratched his head, considering a moment. "Hey...I know what it's like being stuck somewhere you don't want to be. If you were real nice-like, perhaps I could bust you out of this nasty hot dog stand. You know...sort of 'pay it forward' the way it was done for me? We might be able to use an extra pair of remorseless hands. You never know."

[after all...whats barry gonna do in lab 5 besides sit around with his thumb up his metal butt waiting for someone to fight and kill? And that aside, everyone either hates or only tolerates kimblee. perhaps as a like mind, they could end up best of buddy's. XD We should also wait and see what Havoc has to say. I imagine his jaw is on the floor and a lit cigarette is sticking to his bottom lip. Heeee!!]